Captain's Page 2004

Andy Smith's Captain's Page 2004

Raising money for The County Air Ambulance

As the elected Captain for this current golfing year, it my aim to attempt to raise around £750.00 for charity.  This will be done by various fund raising activities throughout the year.  At present the only ideas that have been approved by the committee are for Captains bunkers and blackout cards at society golf days but other ideas are currently in the pipeline.

This years nominated Captains Charity is to be The County AIR Ambulance Service.  Further information can be seen at the bottom of the page and by following the appropriate hyperlinks.

County AIR Ambulance covers an area of 8,000 square miles with a population of 7.8 million people. Three helicopters, each carrying two paramedics, cover West Midlands, Staffordshire, Shropshire, Hereford and Worcester, Warwickshire, Gloucestershire, parts of Powys and Derbyshire and Leicestershire.Casualties are conveyed direct to the most appropriate hospital for the injury sustained which is critical in life threatening situation with each helicopter operating in the heart of the region, an AIR ambulance can reach its furthest point in under 19 minutes to provide advanced life saving equipment.

The service relies upon voluntary donations to ensure its continued operation and survival. County AIR Ambulance is the operational name of the West Midlands Air Ambulance Appeal Fund and is a Registered Charity Number 1001064.

The initial conception of the idea for an Air Ambulance service was conceived in April 1989 and by October of the following the charity had been registered and fund raising activities began.  Operating for only five days per week from Halfpenny Green Airport to begin with, the first Air Ambulance took to the skies in May 1991.  Hundreds of lives have been saved since County Air Ambulance operation began over 13 years ago. 

Captain's Comments

Sutton Coldfield Golf Day – 2nd April 2004

The first golf day of the calendar year saw us visit Sutton Coldfield.  Although the weather forecasters had predicted showers throughout the day, we were fortunate enough not to have to drag the waterproofs out of the golf bag, and enjoyed a rather pleasant day.

This was the first time I had personally played this course and really enjoyed the layout.  The greens weren’t in top condition, but considering it was the beginning of April and at the start of the golfing season, there were no complaints to be had from the record turn out of 43 B.U.N.G.S members, who turned out for this golf day.

I must ensure that Steve Lloyd gets a mention at this point for arranging the Captains Drive-In in the morning.  For those who didn’t manage to witness this ‘special’ event in my Captains year, I would love to report that I hit a splendid drive splitting the fairway with the ball coming to rest a mere 280 yards away from the tee.  However the reality is that the only thing I split with this opening tee shot was a cloud, as I proceeded to sky the shot with it coming to rest about 80 yards away, adjacent to the tenth green.  Thanks to everyone who joined in with the howls of derision that then came my way – I’m pleased not to have disappointed you.

Congratulations go to the Blue Scum (aka Adam Thompson) for winning the days event, Paul Herman (2nd green), James Shipman (9th green) and John Shaw (15th & 17th greens) for winning the Nearest-the-pin prizes, Jamie Moore & Mike Fox for winning the mornings ‘money round’ (both collecting a reasonable £21.50 for their efforts), and Jamie Moore and Des White for winning a crisp £10 note each for their two’s on the second green.  It was interesting to note that all the guys who took the Nearest-the-pin prizes the failed to convert the chance and collect a two, with Paul Hermann deserving a special mention taking a further three puts to get down!

From my perspective, the day was also a great success in starting the collection for my charity, The County AIR Ambulance Service.

Twenty-eight donations were made to the Captains Bunker – this equates to 65% of the field visiting a bunker on a par three, although Gordon Sullivan did manage to make three contributions – thanks Gordon. In total we raised a fantastic £81.83, a great start to the year and thanks to everyone who contributed (a running total of the money raised is at the bottom of the page).

I look forward to seeing you all again on Friday 30th April at Market Drayton Golf Club – surely my tee shot there will be less pressurised!

Market Drayton Golf Day – 30th April 2004

The latest outing of B.U.N.G.S had us visit the excellent Market Drayton Golf Club.  After taking a rather tortuous route to the course after Steve had claimed ‘take this lane and I’ll navigate the rest of the way’, we arrived surprisingly on time.

The course had been selected following a recommendation by Karl Hughes, and fortunately for him, not one of the 39 B.U.N.G.S members who turned up for the day had any complaints.  The course layout and quality of the greens was superb.  Even the weather on the day was in our favour.

Although my opening tee shot was a lot easier than last month’s, and despite finishing with a miserable 23 points, I still managed to enjoy a great day away from work.  I’m not sure that my playing partners, Darren Weston and John Lander, were expecting to experience the B.U.N.G.S Captain in a club throwing, tantrum and bag abuse incident that occurred on the third hole after duffing my third shot into one of the bunkers protecting the front of the green.  Fortunately, I’ve managed to straighten the leg on my bag and the wedge doesn’t appear to bear any adverse marks!

Congratulations go to the Craig Vale on his debut B.U.N.G.S victory.  This was despite his lunchtime suggestion of giving the miserable stewards wife/sidekick “a good licking” in an attempt to cheer her up.  Other members who had a successful day were Chris Craddy (4th green), Bobby Ho (12th green) and Graham Bilsland (7th & 15th greens) for winning the Nearest-the-pin prizes, and James Shipman who scooped the cash in the mornings ‘money round’ with an excellent 22 points (a shame he only scored 4 more points in the afternoons main competition).

For the second event running, you all did The County AIR Ambulance Service charity collection proud, although the accuracy at avoiding the bunkers on the par three’s was a lot better than the last event.

Only a “miserable” 19 donations were made to the Captains Bunker – come on boys, let’s try harder next time please!  Nick Collins’s four contributions also deserve a special mention.

In total we raised £47.77 on the day, and thanks go to all who contributed.

We have also circulated details on the Captains Charity Ball and Presentation Evening, to be held on Saturday 13th November at The Newton Park Hotel.  I hope you and your partners will be able to attend this year’s inaugural event.

I look forward to seeing you all again on Tuesday 25th May at Fulford Heath Golf Club, where the team selections for the B.U.N.G.S Golf Weekend will be distributed.

Hopefully, I will be able to defend my title form last year with more conviction than I have shown on the previous B.U.N.G.S events of the year.  Well, we all live in hope don’t we!

Captains Charity Ball & Presentation Evening

Saturday 13th November 2004 - Newton Park Hotel, Burton on Trent

This years Captains Charity Ball & Presentation Evening is to be held at the Newton Park Hotel on the evening of Saturday 13th November 2004. Situated in the heart of the country on the outskirts of Burton on Trent, The Newton Park Ramada Jarvis is surrounded by 4 acres of sculptured gardens.

This evening is open to all members of the society and their partners and the dress code for the evening will be lounge suit or black tie.

The format for the evening will be a three course meal followed by the official presentation of the relevant trophies to the year’s successful golfers and the handing over of a cheque to a representative of this year’s charity, The County Air Ambulance. A Fun-Casino, recreating the thrill of gambling without the risk of losing your own personal fortune, will then be available until the small hours of the night. Further details on the Fun-Casino can be found by visiting www.classiquefc.co.uk.

A raffle will also be held, with all the prizes being donated from local organisations, to start the fund raising year for the incoming Captain.

The entire evening will be held in the 200 year-old buildings oak panelled events room, with the Fun-Casino being staged in the adjoining conservatory.

If required, the Newton Park Hotel has accommodation available at a reduced rate for our event. Further details can be supplied by Andy Smith upon request. Other accommodation is also available in and around Burton on Trent.

The cost for the evening will be £30.00 per ticket. If you wish to reserve tickets for this event, please send a deposit of £5.00 per ticket by Friday 28th May 2004. A total of 80 tickets are available. Any tickets remaining after 28th May will then be made available to any other guests of society members wishing to attend the evening.

Fulford Heath Golf Day – 25th May 2004

Another B.U.N.G.S golf day, another excellent turn out and glorious sunshine – what a way to spend a day of work.  The only downside was this day was on a Tuesday, not the usual Friday, so we all had work to return to the following day (unless you are in the Dental Surgery business like my opposing Weekend Tour Captain Karl Hughes, who was off on another golf day, while his money making empire continued to bring in the cash.  It’s no wonder the youth of today’s teeth are in such bad condition!).

As the current holder of the B.U.N.G.S Summer Shield, I was determined to end the poor run of form that I had shown in the previous outings as B.U.N.G.S Captain.  Finishing with 40 points, I was pleased with my performance and even managed to avoid further damage to my already battle-scarred golf bag.

Playing with Adam Thompson and Jamie Moore, it was laughs all the way round for the whole day, especially on the tee of the short 16th hole in the afternoon.  Faced with the elevated green and the small lake that spanned from directly in front of the tee to the bottom of the bank at the front of the green, Jamie managed to hit his tee shot into the water.  Jamie’s observational powers then came to the fore when he proudly proclaimed “I’ll play another one from here”, with no other real alternative available, only for Adam to quickly respond “Not unless your Jesus f***ing Christ”.

Congratulations go to Brian Keates for taking the top honours of the day, scoring 46 points accumulatively over the 36 holes played.  Unfortunately Brian wasn’t able to hang around long enough for the presentation, and his willing slave / employee Ian Talboys was ever willing to collect the prize on his behalf (it’s not often Ian collects trophies on a B.U.N.G.S day).

A special mention also goes to the Society Secretary Steve Lloyd for his impressive 29 points and 34th placing (out of 36 members).  Steve and I always play for a fiver on a golf day, and Steve was playing so badly (although he’ll argue that he played well but didn’t score well enough?????) that he handed over the crisp blue note over the lunchtime sandwiches, with 18 holes still left to play!

A total of 23 donations were made to the Captains Bunker on this day, not a great deal considering the par three’s were counting morning and afternoon – B.U.N.G.S members are suddenly becoming more accurate with their tee shots on the par threes now they know 50p is at stake.  Graeme Black topped the chart for the most contributions with three.

In total we raised £38.00 on the day for The County AIR Ambulance Service, and again thanks go to all who contributed.

With the teams for the B.U.N.G.S Golf Weekend now distributed, it was good to hear the friendly rivalry starting to kick-in.  The Red Team have already 1 moral point on the board, knowing that the Blue Team has a few members facing handicap reductions after their good performances at this golf day.  Never mind Karl, you always were going to get stuffed!

I look forward to seeing you all in the bar at the Trimstone Manor Hotel on Thursday 1st July, where my Vice Captain for the weekend, Graham Adams, will happily buy all the members of the Red Team a beer!

COME ON THE REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

West Country Tour - July 2004 Friday 2nd July 2004

Royal North Devon Golf Club Saturday 3rd July 2004
Saunton Golf Club Sunday 4th July 2004
Minehead & East Sussex Golf Club

After much hype and waiting the 2004 golf weekend was finally upon us.  Along with the Captains Trophy Golf Day (Wednesday 22nd September 2004) and the Captain Charity Ball & Presentation Evening (Saturday 13th November 2004), this was the event I had been eagerly awaiting since my appointment as the B.U.N.G.S Captain.  Having my wits pitted against Karl Hughes only helped to add to the anticipation – yet another chance for the Red half of Merseyside to put one over the Blue Scum!

A group of seven of us broke the journey down to the West Country with a round of golf at Burnham & Berrow Golf Club, just south of Bristol.  Standing adjacent to the first tee waiting for the two doctors, James and John, to tee off the heavens opened.  Not a good omen for the forthcoming weekend.  However, by the time myself, Steve and Ian had completed our tee shots, the blue skies had returned and the rain was nowhere to be seen.  This, fortunately, turned out to be a pattern for the weekend, although there was no sign of the winds that we were to endure on Friday and Saturday.

Playing a blind skins match, no one had any idea of how they were fairing, but summarising the cards in the bar afterwards, I was pleasantly surprised to pick up 9 of the skins on offer, mainly thanks to my 3 on the 17th green which was worth 8 skins!  Was this a sign of winning ways to come for the following weekend? After enjoying a good evenings entertainment at the Trimstone Hotel, Friday saw the start of the real competition.  Upon arrival at Royal North Devon Golf Club, the flags in the practice ground were almost lying horizontal, so severe was the wind.  Unfortunately, R.N.D.G.C is totally exposed, no dunes to protect it and we all endured a day fighting with the wind and a very exposed golf course.

This typified itself by two of the par three holes played in the afternoon.  The 5th is a 136-yard hole, playing into the wind and uphill.  I won the nearest the pin prize hitting a full 5 iron.  The 8th is a 184-yard hole and was playing down wind.  I was through the back of the green with a 9 iron – links golf at it’s best (or possibly worst!).

Playing Foursomes in the morning, some considerable thought had previously gone into the morning’s pairings.  Coming out a massive 6 – 1 ahead at lunchtime and I was already starting to right my acceptance speech for Sunday evening.  However at the end of the day, Karl had managed to have an equally successful afternoon and we ended the day all-square.  The look on Karl’s face was a picture in the locker room afterwards and he certainly enjoyed reminding me of all the comments I had to him and Tim Thacker at lunchtime.

My tactics for the afternoon Better-ball pairings were completely wrong, not least the pairing of Anthony Jackson and myself.  Although this is nothing against Anthony, the fact that he carried me for the majority of the middle third of the round eventually took it’s toll, and although we hit the turn 4 up against Graeme Black and Mike Fox, they hit a fantastic run of holes that saw them win the match 2 & 1.  How we never managed to play the 18th will haunt me at night for years to come!

Friday evening saw myself and my vice captain, Graham Adams, have a rethink over our thoughts for the Saturday pairings.  Playing Foursome-Greensomes in the morning turned our thoughts back to the previous Friday morning selections and the principles that had served us so well then, so with some minor tweaking the pairings were revealed to all over dinner on Friday evening.

This led to what became the main talking point of the weekend, and although the situation is now sorted between almost all the involved parties, it did ensure that for myself, the weekend would not be remembered for the quality golf courses we played, but for other reasons.

However Saturday morning saw us arrive at Saunton Golf Club, one of the best courses we have played on our weekend tours, in my opinion on beaten by The Hotchkin Course at Woodhall Spa.  As on Friday, the weather was good with the wind blowing, but the dunes outlining the course certainly gave us some relief.

Playing with James Shipman against Brian Keates and Chris Craddy as the opening group, we had previously explained to Brian the format that all players hit there tee shots and then each team chose the best drive and played alternate shots from there.  After Chris had hit a slight hook and Brian a little short on down the left side, James hit an absolute screamer down the centre of the fairway (yes, he does hit the fairway occasionally) and I was not that far behind him, both balls along way ahead of the Blue Teams tee shots.  Leaving the tee, Brian turns to James and enquires “Can we choose one of your drives?” – priceless.

As the groups returned into the clubhouse for an excellent selection of lunchtime food, the Red Team had again gained the advantage by winning the seven matches 5 – 2 to take a 12 – 9 overall score into the afternoon matches.

My vice-captain, Graham Adams, also had a good day, holing the put on the 18th green to halve his match with Anthony Jackson against Ian Talboys and Richard Stevens.  Seeing Tally stomp around wondering why nobody had seen his second shot from the edge of the fairway was priceless.  Also the win by Gordon Sullivan and John Bayliss against a strong Blue pairing of Steve Lloyd and Paul Weston is worth mentioning.

Having made serious errors for the Friday afternoon pairings, we couldn’t afford to let things slip again and allow Karl and his boys of the hook again.  Fortunately we again the majority of the seven afternoon matches, this time by a score of 4½ – 2½ to take an overall lead of 5 points into the Sunday singles matches.

After a fantastic drive around the coastline up to Minehead, it was down to the singles matches to ensure that we kept up our momentum and the five-point lead we had worked so hard to gain on the Saturday.  There were numerous matches that stood out after the draw had been read out on Saturday evening, Graham Bilsland v Steve Lloyd, John Shaw v Howard Holiday, Darren Weston v Bobby Ho, James Shipman v Ian Talboys being just some.  At the other end of the scale, Anthony Jackson v Graeme Black was one where it was likely that he who lost the least amount of golf balls would probably end up victorious.

Myself against Karl Hughes was the only ‘rigged’ match of the weekend, and one that both of us had looked forward to for along time – Karl finally had the chance to play me without giving any shots.  We were playing with Graham and Steve and good afternoon’s golf looked in store.

Despite some friendly banter and recommendations about changing my grip, hitting with a hooded club head, resembling Millhouse from the Simpsons, John Shaw (a member of my own team) finally stopped the barracking and left the tee box and allowed us to hit our tee shots.  With Karl teeing of first and driving the green of the short par 4 1st hole, Karl had immediately put the pressure on myself.  How I managed to hit the ball, never mind hit it through the back of the green, I’ll never know.  This tee shot was almost as pressurised as the Captains Drive-in, and we all know what happened there!  At this point I must thank Karl for four the putting the 1st green and allowing me a half in five.  The match was underway with some terrible golf being played and both Karl and myself handing holes to each other, rather than winning the holes.This w

as nothing compared to our Society Secretary, who was fighting his own demons in the adjacent game against Graham Bilsland.  Despite having problems with his driver on the early holes, Steve finally managed to get the swing speed, launch angle and trajectory right on the 6th tee as he finally completely lost his temper, and despatched his ERC2 over the first water filled ditch and batch of weeds and into the second ditch.  Unfortunately, Steve was not aware of the layout of the land before this act of desperation and despite two separate attempts, the driver is still lying there as you read this (thanks to insurance policies and some exaggeration of the truth, Steve has only lost some pride from this issue – I just hope Sharon doesn’t read this!)

Although neither Karl of myself ‘enjoyed’ our game, there was always only one hole in it and was up and down more often that the roller coaster at the nearby Butlins. With Karl winning the 18th, the individual match finished all square, although Karl can only dream that the overall match was this close, with the days results coming in at 6½ - 7½ to the Blue Team, Karl men had not closed the gap sufficiently end ended up on the wrong end of a 23 – 19 battering.

Congratulations also go to James Shipman for becoming possibly the first player in B.U.N.G.S Weekend Tour history to have consecutive 100% records.  It a shame last years was for losing all five of his matches!

Thanks to everyone who came along and helped contribute to yet another great B.U.N.G.S golf weekend.  We also managed to raise another £16.60 for the County Air Ambulance, pushing the total amount raised to date up to £184.20.

See you all at South Staffordshire Golf Club on Friday 30th July, and roll on Llandudno 2005.

South Staffs Golf Day – 30th July 2004

Our latest outing saw us visit South Staffs Golf Club to compete for the B.U.N.G.S Championship trophy.  Following the previous evenings weather forecast and on seeing the early morning sun peering through the bedroom curtains at home, I confidently arrived at the course suitably dressed in shorts and a BUNGS shirt.  However, upon arriving at the course and cold, overcast conditions that greeted us, I was pleased to have packed an additional pair of trousers.

Although the relative cool conditions stayed with us for the morning round, we were treated to an afternoon’s golf played in glorious sunshine, the perfect compliment to an excellently presented golf course.

The members ‘privileged’ with my company were Ivan Heathcote and Brian Dodwell, although Brian’s mind must have been elsewhere for the morning nine, after narrowly avoiding having his son’s jet-ski stolen from the trailer on the back of his car.

Yet again, I had another enjoyable day out playing crap golf – although even this poor standard was still sufficient to take another fiver from Steve Lloyd (the second inside a week!).  I also received a special request form Karl to mention his holed bunker shot on the 10th green, although I’m not sure exactly why unless Karl is after some complementary comments on the web site following his teams crushing defeat in the recent weekend away.

Congratulations go to John O’Brien for another success in a B.U.N.G.S event.  This was partly thanks to an excellent gross birdie / nett eagle on the 18th green that was celebrated in a similar style to Phil Mickleson when he finally won his first major.

The contributions to the Captains Bunker fund was the lowest since we started this type of charity collection, with only 11 donations being made.  Either you boys are trying especially hard to avoid the bunkers on the par three’s or a forgetting to let me know!

In total we raised £46.06 on the day, and with the blackout money and donations generously added to the collection tin, we have managed to push the overall total up to £230.26.

Due to a family holiday I can’t attend the next event on Friday 27th August at Cavendish Golf Club, so I wish you all good luck and hope the weather is good.  Having played there a couple of years ago, I’m quite disappointed to be missing this one, but sometimes the missus has to have her own way.

Newcastle-under-Lyme Golf Day – 22nd September 2004

Despite the rain that was falling, our latest outing saw us visit Newcastle under Lyme Golf Club to compete for the first ever B.U.N.G.S Captains trophy.  After having the previous golf day at Cavendish Golf Club cancelled at the very last moment, our Secretary Steve Lloyd must have been a little nervous on the drive down the A50, if it wasn’t for his bad back causing him a little trouble.  After having the additional trip to Aberdovey cancelled earlier in the year, he didn’t want to make it a third event in the same calendar year.

As mentioned earlier, it was raining when arrived in the car park and that set the tone for the day. On the bright side, the greens were receptive!

Due to being unable to walk large distances following a “wife induced” operation a couple of weeks earlier (fortunately the bruising and swelling is now subsiding), I had previously arranged to be paired with Derek Pells to ensure that I had the benefit of a ride in a buggy all day.  John Mansell was the unfortunate member who had the privilege of walking along side us.

For the first time in my years reign as Captain I actually played quite well, although some would suggest my handicap of 16 had more to do with it!  Despite walking the course on his own, John Mansell managed to score a healthy 22 points in the morning round to take a share of the £26.00 on offer with Bobby Ho.

The afternoon wasn’t quite so successful for John, and talking to himself all day eventually took its toll.  After being chauffeured around all by Derek, I managed to put together a score of 36 points, despite having a blob on both the front and back nine.  This was only good enough for second place and congratulations go to Ian Talboys for his second victory of the season with 37 points.

With all the bunkers on the course contributing to the Captains Bunker fund, we managed to snare 39 contributions, although the penalty was reduced to 25p per bunker for the day.  Foxy managed to put himself into the Bunker Hall of Fame with five contributions.

In total we raised £41.30 on the day, and with the blackout money and donations generously added to the collection tin, we have managed to push the overall total up to a massive £2,392.61.

The next event is scheduled for Friday 22nd October at The Leicestershire Golf Club, and I hope to see you all there.

Captain's Charity Ball & Presentation Evening

Saturday 13th November 2004

After a lot of organization, heartache and worry the Captains Ball turned out, for me at least, to be an excellent evening out.  To ensure we arrived on time and early enough to see that the room was laid out correctly, Deborah and myself had a room booked for the night.  This turned out to be an excellent idea, as the five-minute journey to the hotel in the afternoon sunshine was a nightmare!

After setting up the prizes and trophies ready for the evening’s winners, we settled in the bar for a relaxing drink or two, or three, with the other members who had indulged their partners with a night out in the classic surroundings of the Newton Park Hotel.

Despite the surroundings, Gordon Sullivan was obviously intent on making his intentions clear to his partner Marion, and shortly after checking in was back at the reception desk to secure a room upgrade.  Being the kind of guy Gordon is, only the best would suffice and he soon had the concierge moving his luggage into the Bridal Suite for the rest of his stay – you smooth bugger Gordon!

Despite the small bar and the extremely slow service, everyone was in good humour as we congregated prior to the start of the meal.  It was good to see so many make the effort and turn out in black ties and DJ’s.  Maybe next year even John Mansell will make an effort and join in with a smart appearance, even wearing a tie is not too much to ask these days.  It was also fairly clear to see that the majority of the partners and wives had used the evening as an excuse to extract their husband’s credit cards on a shopping spree.

As the evening progressed and the wine flowed, the relaxed atmosphere made it a very enjoyable evening for all who attended and it was good that the evening’s conversation topics were not solely about golf, despite that being the reason we were all gathered there.

The ‘Fun-Casino’ at the end of the night appeared to go down well, with the ‘intelligent’ men crowding around the blackjack table, whilst the majority of the women had plenty of fun at the roulette wheel.  Gambling so much more fun when you’re not playing with next months mortgage payment.

As so often happens, the evening seemed to fly by and before I knew it the majority had left to travel home, with us residents and Greame Black left to drink into the small hours.

Throughout the evening we managed to raise a further £340.20 for the County Air Ambulance, and I thank all who attended for contributing so much.

Hopefully this will be the first of what will hopefully become another ‘not-to-be-missed’ event on the B.U.N.G.S calendar.

Final fund raising total from the 2004 season

A letter and certificate has been received from the County Air Ambulance regarding last year's fund raising effort. Once again, thanks to everyone who helped raise the £2859.06 total.

Andy Smith
BUNGS Captain 2004